Choosing an AFTER Grief Candle
"May this simple candle ease your sorrow, even if only for a moment. Our signature candle is designed to help aid someone recently bereft by a loss." - Lisa Patchem
Why starting with Love and Light makes sense and makes a difference.
The AFTER Love and Light candle is crafted to be the first AFTER gift given to the griever. It sets the tone of what is to come during this new journey of grief. Intended to be given within the first year of the loved one’s death, preferable within the first 6 months. The aromatherapy of lavender and sage is designed to help cope with the overwhelming amount of grief that will be felt immediately after losing someone. Lavender to help calm and aid in sleeping, and sage to help ground heavy emotions and help find peace during this chaos of sadness. It also will help show the griever that there are people out there that understand what they are going through. It might even show them a way to handle the grief they are experiencing. Think of the Love and Light candle as a replacement to flowers, food, etc., and more like sending a hug and a support system.
This candle is also the first gift/stepping stone for the gifter. At AFTER we know that grief is a lifetime of sadness and difficulties. Sending a candle immediately after someone’s loved one dies is just the start. The griever will need support for many years following the death of her child, parent, sibling, husband, friend. We’ve crafted other gifts to address the especially hard days ahead for the grieving person.
Sending a Love and Light candle is just the beginning.
You should reach out to your grieving friend at least every two weeks. Simple things like sending a text, a card, a candle, is perfect. Just tell them that you are thinking of them. If they respond (do not be surprised if they don’t) and engage—follow their lead. Do some research and find out their special days of the year, think anniversaries, birthdays, etc. Consider sending them an AFTER candle that is designed to help them during these special days. If nothing else, send them a Holiday candle as early as mid November. The holidays are the hardest times of the year because everyone will be celebrating and they will feel depressed, lonely and maybe bitter.
In general, the first 2 years of grief are the hardest. Keep in touch with your friend however you can. It’s never too late to reach out.
Coming Springs 2019. If you want to cover your bases and give your loved one a gift that provides beautiful reminders throughout their first year, the AFTER Box contains a candle for each special day: AFTER: Remembrance (anniversaries for example), AFTER: Birthday (this can still be a day you recogize – A Celebratory Day), AFTER: Deathiversary (this day will be harder than they realize), and AFTER: Holiday (for the empty seat at the holiday table). It is a gift that gives throughout the year.